Thursday, October 11, 2012

Woodland Tea Table & The Need To Flutter

If you follow me on Instagram you will have already seen that most of last week was jam packed with tea table prep. My boys were so kind to let my mind fill up with with check lists, recipes, and themed creations. I absolutely love getting to throw myself into a theme and thankfully Mr. Doozie is  unbelievable supportive. 
For table favors I used small mason jars and filled with with my Chai Candied Almonds and attached a little note with a verse on the front and the recipe on the back. Mr. Doozie was sweet enough to tromp through the woods and find a little log he could cut so each favor had it's own pedestal :) Love that man. The Littles even gathered up a few pinecones to add to the table. Their daddy is training them well.

The napkins are from Target this season, and the holders are from Pottery Barn. I had actually registered for the napkin rings when Mr. Doozie and I were engaged over 6 years ago! Up to this point they were a terra-cotta orange color, but with the help of Martha Stewart craft paints I dressed them up a bit :)

The dishes are my everyday dishes. I had fallen in love with this set before I was married, again from Pottery Barn so I opted to skip registering for china and instead put this everyday set on the list. Our church family back home filled ever single thing on that registery! What a blessing!

The silver and crystal are my mother-in-law's and I wouldn't know the names of any of it. I just know it's beautiful and I am so thankful to have it!

The woodland creature candle stick holders are from Target, this season. Seriously go grab them if you can! There is a fox, owl and woodpecker. I love love love them and think maybe come spring they might get a glossy white spray paint on them so I can keep them out year round.

My momma was also so kind to me and gifted me with the wooden tiered server as an early birthday gift. Again, blessed blessed blessed I tell ya!
It was a complete joy to set this table. Except for the items I purchased everything else has been given to me with such love and generosity. It felt great to step back and think that I can serve people because I have been so loved.

I debated sharing this next part with y'all for several reasons. Never do I want to talk ill of a church I've attended or of any of the people there. I'm pretty sure what took place was just a huge oversight during lots of busyness. More so I'm sharing in hopes that y'all might find yourself in a situation like this and see the need.

As the seventy plus ladies filled the room I quickly noticed that everyone's tables were filling up, except mine. One person, only one person sat at my table...... I try and count two since the MC did come and eat for a few minutes as well (my table was closest to where she was speaking). But for the rest of the two hours I had one lone guest. It was embarrassing beyond belief. Most of the time I was pushing back tears and trying to be the best hostess I could be to my guest. I felt bad for her too, she missed out on all the fun table banter and fellowship that was taking place around us.  I just wanted to crawl under the table and pray the tea would end.

As women we long to be accepted into a group and that day I felt very much like an outsider. I'm certain it wasn't done out of maliciousness, in fact I think everyone was having such a wonderful time that it simply went unnoticed. When my table won for best design I was completely conufused. Complements are a wonderful thing to receive but relationships are what we truly desire. I didn't set my table to win, I set it to serve. Thankfully my guest was wonderfully kind to me and without her I may have just ran straight out.

After the embarrassment and sadness have settled I'm left with such a strong urgency to implore y'all to be aware of the outsider in a group. Simply coming alongside an individual in a setting like that is all that is needed. How simple it could have been if a few ladies noticed my guest and I sitting alone and sent a few ambassadors over to our table. My sister is a great example of that. She is always honing in on the outsider and gathering a flock of friends to flutter around. It is something I've always admired in her and after the tea I see it as a bright and shining gift she has. So I'll leave you with this, be a flutterer ;) The world needs more of them.


  1. Oh Ko this just makes my heart hurt! You are the most precious friend I have been blessed to have. Those ladies missed out on a wonderful day because you are such a gracious hostess. I am sorry this happened to you but I know God was using you as a vessel to show us all that we should seek out those outsiders and bring them in. Matthew 5:16 says "let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." You are very often my light, thank you for that.

  2. My husband and I are starting the beginning stages of looking for a church and this is one of my biggest fears is finding acceptance among the women, especially in my age group. I don't know what it is that makes it so hard to make friends after 30? You set an absolute gorgeous table, if anything I would have felt slightly intimated but then I would want to know your recipe for those chai candies! Thank you for sharing your story. Sending you my best.

  3. Your table setting is gorgeous! I am sorry that the event didn't turn out the way you had hoped. :(

  4. I love you! I love that you chose to share your story and to be vulnerable! God uses you in ways that you don't even realize my dear sweet friend! I am so proud of you! Even though you were hurt/embarrassed, you chose to give the benefit of the doubt and to grant God's grace, as you've always been so good at doing! You are a ray of light and I know that when God looks down on your, He smiles!

  5. dang. first off, that table is knock love love. second, you got me thinking about social dynamics and the 'whys' of it all. deep inside, i am painfully shy. i am so aware of it that i constantly fight it and it also makes me very aware of the people on the fringes, so there is the gift in the whole thing. i know a women who can master and take charge of any situation with bold kindness and i very consciously channel her. As in, "ok, here goes, what would jane do...she would bluster in with a laugh and a warm hug and a silly story that set everyone at ease. when i feel awkward and new i have to work extra hard at this and it takes a lot of energy. and then there are times when i am worn out and i sit in the corner with my friends and am thankful to not have to gird myself. where the hell am i going with all of this...human nature is bizarre and fairly are the beauty with everything 'together' (by all outward appearances as your table is proof of) and for a group of women this is probably at the top of the list of things that are intimidating. take a deep breath and keep on keeping on. they are probably shy and a little uncertain and maybe tired and who knows what is funny, isn't it?!

  6. Oh my, my, my. So painful. I am aching for you from way over here. I wish I had been there, cuz I WOULD have been sitting at your table. Not just cuz it was gorgeous, but because you are so lovely. Those incidents are exceedingly discouraging, and I am hoping it was a one time thing. But, I agree with you, it shouldn't be so, and the church desperately needs the bridge builders who keep everyone connected. Flutterers, as you call them. Hugs and love, dear friend. I am so sorry, and thanks for being brave.